Friendships @40

As I have gotten older I realize what real friendships are, and that I have very few, and I’m okay with that..  I have no time for the drama and BS that fake friends bring.  In my experience I have had many types of friends.  The kind that you only hear from when they breakup with their boyfriends.  The ones that can’t deal with you having other friends and not including them in everything.   The fake friends that talk shit behind your back, and worse.  Ones that are only completely involved in themselves, you know this kind… You talk/see each other and for an hour you only hear about their problems and drama, and they never mention that your grandmother just passed away.  I call them the “Me Me Me Me, or One Way Friends.”  I have also been blessed to have some amazing friends.

I have realized once you get married and have children not only is your life consumed with your families needs, but you are exhausted.  You no longer try to find the time for everyone.  Since time is limited, you pick and choose which people fit into your life’s balance.   For me, that has meant losing touch with those that don’t lift me up or show interest in my children.

A girl needs mom friends but more importantly friends that she can hang out with, without her children.  Don’t get me wrong, it is nice to have play dates and get to see your other mom friends that are always busy too.  However, there is something very special about the time you get to spend with girlfriends without children around.

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My husband doesn’t get it, he supports me doing it, but doesn’t understand how this helps me refresh.  I’m sure he wonders what the hell we could talk about for hours at a time.  I’m not really sure either, but all I know is when you are with the right friend at the right time, there is never a lack of conversation.  There are usually moments of sharing heartwarming stories about our children.  Even more stories of how we wanted to strangle them at some point (or many points) during the day.  Chit chat about our spouses, family, other friends and work.  There never seems to be a lull in conversation, or laughs.

So with time restrictions, obligations, and really just a whole new attitude towards life, I have decided to say screw the friends that no longer bring me joy, strength, and build me up!  If your negativity and issues bring me down, I’m no longer dealing with it!  I have little guys I need to focus my time, energy, and patience on, in hopes of raising good human beings.  So if you are not there to help, just get out of my way.


So cheers to all of the good, healthy friendships out there.  If you have them, hang on to them tightly.  If you have people dragging you down, give yourself permission to lose the dead weight.  Your mental health and family needs you more!


One comment

  1. As I’ve gotten older I find that I do have more space for friends that I gave up earlier in life. I have more time, more patience and more understanding of what makes them act the way they do. But also with more control on how much time they actually take up. But definitely when I was raising my son, I had no time for that drama,even from someone who I knew since childhood.


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