We all live it, feel it, breathe it. Every. Single. Day! It hits us like a ton of bricks some moments and others, it just seems to be lingering in our brains, there, even unconsciously. There is no escaping it when you are a mom.
As much I would love to say here, “Let’s All Kick Mom Guilts Ass!” but realistically, that is much easier said than done.
Have you ever gone into a store to buy yourself something you needed (dress, shoes, makeup…) to go to a party (wedding, baby shower…) and bought nothing for yourself but you did buy 3 new outfits, shoes, bath toy, and a cute little book for your little one.
YES right! Probably every single time. Target is one of my all time favorite stores and every time I get sucked into the kid abyss. I can hear my own mumbles in my brain telling me, “you really don’t need that ______ for you, go buy the boys something instead.”
How do you feel when you are out enjoying yourself without them? Yes, you could be having the most amazing time with friends/husband but always in the back of your mind is: Did they go to sleep okay without me? Are they missing me? Are they sad that I’m not home right now? As much as we all need and deserve the break it is really hard to not be constantly thinking of them.
I am always wondering if I am spending enough quality time with them. Am I giving them enough attention? Am I a crappy mom because I work out of the home? My three year old can be described as “spirited”, is this because I do not spend enough one on one time with him. Or could it be because he is a 3 year old, and most 3 year olds are
Am I a good mom? Am I setting them up to need years of therapy as adults? Will I know what the best choices are for them? My mind continuously spins with questions of self doubt, worry, and most of all, guilt.
I feel like I am doing the best that I can, and the best that I know how, but there are those moments that I lose my shit. Why, because I have explained for the 1,784th time why we can’t go outside when it is 18 degrees. Or after I have cleaned up one mess I turn around to 5 more. I still have not learned how to block out about 1/2 of the amount of time I hear “mommy” a day. So by the time bedtime hits and at that 7,342nd time I heard mommy, I am done! Then what… I feel guilty.
I think it is about time we as moms give ourselves the credit we deserve. Also tell our mom friends and family that they are doing a great job too. I go out of my way when I see a mom with her “spirited” child in a store, acting like a jackass. I will always make it a point to tell her she is not alone, and she is doing a great job. Sometimes just hearing it from someone else can make you feel better, and gives you that little boost you need to get through the day.
Cheers to us! We fail, we learn, we love and nurture, we are moms who need to let go of that guilt and be the best we can be!