What She Really Wants – A Go To Guide For Clueless Husbands

Ladies, if your husband is anything like mine, he can use all the help he can get.  The old saying is true, “A happy wife, is a happy life!”  Men, this CAN NOT be more true.  I am sure your wife has told you to read this, I mean really, I understand this is not how you wanted to spend 15 minutes of your life doing.  However, do this now and you just might be doing what you would rather be doing later…

Disclosure: Really this is for the ladies, because I’m a girls girl and want you all happy!

So here is the beginners guide to help all of you clueless men out there:

Hear her!  I don’t mean just half listen and give her the ole, “yes dear.”  She knows you haven’t really heard a word she said, and we hate having to repeat ourselves. Or it makes us think, you do not feel it is as important as we does.  Either way, you’re going to piss her off.  So please, just hear her the first time.

Be spontaneous!  You can do this in a number of ways, but again because this is the clueless version, I will give you some examples. kissing-1149918_640 Kiss her, I mean really kiss her, when dinner is being cooked (notice I didn’t say when she is cooking dinner-there is a difference) or in the shower, in the car, while enjoying an adult beverage together.  Any time in  addition to in the morning before leaving the house or before bed.  Those little pecks of affection are still nice, but go for more!  Sex!  

Just making sure your still reading this.  Yes sex, don’t wait until bedtime when everyone is spent for the day.  After having children clinging to your leg all day and having to cater to everyone’s needs all day but your own, the last thing we want is to have sex. couple-731890_640 Take the initiative to get the kids out of the house for a while.  Once they are gone, give her time to do things.  By “things” I mean some grooming.  We always put ourselves last, so that being said, sometimes things just aren’t as we wish they were in that moment, leg and armpit hair, Dorito breath, child snot in our hair… Give us a chance to get comfortable. 

Plan a date!  This doesn’t need to be anything extravagant.  Maybe an unexpected lunch date.  Brunch, we love brunch!  Especially with amazing mimosas or a delicious Bloody Mary…This could also include a walk, bike ride (only if she’s into that kind of thing) going to the beach, go see live music. Come on now, it really is not too hard to plan a quick little date.

Plan A Family Day!  There is something sexy when it comes to seeing men be great fathers.  Planning a family fun day will win her over.  Be in the moment, be active, and just have fun!water-fight-442257_640

Flowers! Flowers are nice when they are “just because” flowers.  I personally am not a fan of flowers for my birthday, Valentines Day, or ESPECIALLY AFTER AN ARGUMENT!  Flowers  just because you thought about her during the day are sweet (again, doesn’t need to be the most expensive).

Texting! A sweet little text throughout the day can be just the pick me up she needs.  It doesn’t cost anything, they are your words, and shows she is on your mind.

Help Her! Dishes, laundry, vacuuming, cooking, and errands are all mundane and tiring.  Help with the children.  The kid’s; lunches, baths, disciplining, activities, homework, and play time.  There is way too much to do in one day, for one person.  This should be a team effort!  You also might not want to mention that you deserve something in return.  That will get you NOTHING!  WARNING: when I say “might not”, I mean DO NOT!!!

Tell her you love her! Not just at bedtime with that little peck.  Look into her eyes while holding her tight and tell her from the heart how much you still love her and everything you have both done together.  Tell her why you still love her.  Example: “I love you more today than I ever thought possible.” or “As the mother of my children and our little family we have made together, I am so in love with you!”  Say it with meaning and substance.

Encourage a girls night!  Girls nights are the best therapy for women.  It is amazing what one night with the girls can do.  girls-1209321_640

Treat Her! If you are not the type of guy that wants to give her a massage or set up a candle lit bubble bath (you might get something in return, but it shouldn’t be expected), then send her somewhere.  Make an appointment at a local spa. massage-therapy-1584711_640 A massage, relaxation treatments, and some quiet time, can really make a big difference.  We are tired, worn out, run down, and so busy taking care of everyone else that we end up not taking care of ourselves like we should.  Think about this for a second… If she isn’t able to do everything she normally does, where does that leave you and your family.  She is the glue that holds you together!  She needs time to de-stress, unwind, and feel rejuvenated.  



Just to recap, if you are going to try to do these things in order to have more sex, you probably missed the point, sorry.  If you do these things regularly, you will be surprised in how much closer the both of you will be.  In turn the possibilities are endless!

Back to the ladies… I would love to hear your feedback on this!  Did you make him read it?  Would you agree on most of these suggestions?  Please, comment below 🙂



  1. Really great tips (especially the “hear her,” “be spontaneous,” “help her,” and “tell her you love her”)! I’ll have to share these with the boy, because sometimes I think he doesn’t “get it” and that it’s always not about him. Plus, we are getting married in June… so these couldn’t have come at a better time 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hey Beth! This blog post is so cute! Although I am not married yet, I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 5 years and we are so strong, that will be the man I marry and I couldn’t have agreed more with these tips! Speaking about the “hear her” tip….he took my son to the doctor yesterday for a check up and ended up being early because he heard 11 a.m. when really I said, you’ll have to pick him up from school at 11 a.m. and the appointment is for 11:40 a.m…..hahah just goes to show…really listen lol!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Great great tips! Sometimes men don’t understand that women aren’t wired like them. It’s not all about sex with us women, in fact, if we have felt neglected or otherwise unattractive, sex is the last thing on our minds!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I couldn’t agree more! Especially the sex part…ugh you don’t know how many times my husband has gotten hurt because I turned down sex after taking care of the kids all day, he seems incapable of understanding that it’s not about him. This article is spot on

    Liked by 1 person

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