I Once Got Busy In A Burger King Bathroom

Okay well not really but let me explain…

 

This past Monday I knew once I picked the boys up from school I needed to get them out of the house and to burn some energy.  It had been a long weekend of not really doing much and being stuck in the house.  

Close by to where we live, there was a community Christmas tree lighting, and Santa would be stopping by.  I thought the boys would love it.  We had a little time to spare before heading to the tree lighting.  I decided to take them to a McDonalds near by which has an indoor play area.  McDonald’s in itself, is a treat for the boys because I don’t get it often for them.  

We get there, order our food, and head to the play area.  The boys are excited they have never been here before and just love running, and climbing all around with all of the other kids.  Christopher occasionally needs a boost from Travis to get him up onto certain areas.  Travis being a good brother at the moment and is actually helping him out, so nice.  I’m thinking to myself, wow this was a great idea.  They are having a great time, letting off steam, but are still in a nice contained area. Perfect!  

Perfect until all you could hear were the cries/screams of another toddler scared out of his mind.  First I’m thinking, what did my boys do to this kid?  Thankfully my boys were not involved in the situation.  Phew…  I realized it was a little boy, maybe 2 years old, he had climbed into an area which was moving and shaking and he felt trapped.  It was at the highest point of this structure. play

I then see his grandmother trying to coax him out of the area.  The grandmother then recruits his big sister, maybe 5 years old, to help him get out.  Well that was a total fail.  She tried dragging him, and scared him even more.  This went on for about 5 minutes, which is a long time when you seem helpless.  So finally I tell the grandmother I will climb up there and try to get him down.  The only reason I didn’t offer sooner was because, I truly didn’t know if/how I was going to fit in these tubes and stairs.  This area is made for kids, not adults

At this point I’m thinking, Oh shit, seriously?!?!  So I hike up my pants, take off my shoes and start venturing up.  

Keep in mind I need to ask other kids to please move in these areas so I can get by.  I’m also struggling to keep my pants from sagging and showing all of the little kids my ass crack.  I can finally see him!  Now how can I make him (a 2 year old) want to come to a stranger?

 Well I just gave him a big smile and said come on honey, I’ll help you.  Well this little boy’s eyes lit up and he practically  jumped into my arms.  He clenched his little arms around my neck so hard I thought he might choke me out.  After much twisting, turning, bending, and swearing under my breath, we both made it out.  The grandmother and this little guy were extremely grateful!  Well that was an experience I hope to not have to repeat.

So the boys and I finish up eating and playing and get ready to go.  Of course, always trying to be proactive, I tell Travis he needs to go to the bathroom before we leave.  So I have Travis, Christopher, and myself in a one person bathroom, which is nice because it is private.

 Christopher is trying to play with the water in the sink, while Travis is screaming how stinky it is, while doing his duties.  I decide well since we are going to an outdoor event from here, it is probably smart for me to try too.  

So while I’m doing my thing, the boys are just acting silly, crazy, and having a good ol time in the bathroom.  

In that moment shear panic sets in.  I can see Travis is heading towards the door to go back into the restaurant area.  Which 1) means he and Christopher will be alone running wild out there until I can catch up, but 2) and more importantly, I will be sitting like a sitting duck for the entire restaurant to see as he flings open the door.

 So as I start saying his name calmly just trying to get his attention to tell him to please not unlock and open the door yet.  He doesn’t even look at me.  Then my voice gets a little louder and more stern, telling him “Travis do NOT open that door!”  Well that isn’t working either.  Then I say out of desperation, “Travis, do want a lollipop?”  I mean come on, I’m desperate, this kid is going to open this door.  WTF, WTF!!!  

Well sure enough he flings it open and there I am, in all my glory for everyone to see.  I decided in the one second I had it would be better to remain seated rather than try to catch him mid pee walking with my pants down around my ankles.  I made the right choice.  At least when everyone got a view inside, they could only see me sitting there and Christopher half in the sink.  Otherwise everyone would have seen me shuffling with my pants around my ankles and completely mortified.  At least option “A” I was only slightly mortified. Female seated at a toilet with her pants down Talk about just wanting to go run and hide, but I couldn’t I still needed to finish, wash, and get Christopher out of there and catch up with Travis.  I am telling you, this child is going to be the death of me.  I couldn’t get out of there fast enough!  The one woman I made eye contact with while “exposed” I avoided like the plague, as we hustled out of there.  I bet all of those people at McDonald’s that night didn’t know they would be seeing a rescue mission and getting dinner and a show.  Always an adventure!

2 comments

  1. Oh no! My two are terrible currently for trying to open bathroom doors before we’re finished! So far they have only unlocked them (so people could walk in), but not opened them – it’s only a matter of time! Good work on the climbing frame – I hate navigating those things!

    Liked by 1 person

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